Broken Heart on His Sleeve
by darkgaaraluver
Summary: Ai is heart broken over Rin and Momo helps him.


Momo had waited up as long as he could for Ai, but he'd finally succumbed to sleep around 1am, curled up on his bunk. He was woken up by the sound of their dorm room door creaking open and the soft shuffle of Ai's sneakered feet against the carpet. He'd always been a light sleeper. He didn't move though, making sure he kept his breathing even, even as he cracked his golden eyes open to look at the wall. He heard more movement, recognizing the sounds to be Ai taking off his shoes and jacket. Momo felt the whole bed shift as Ai lay down on it and curled up, seemingly without bothering to even change into pajamas.

Momo glared harder at the wall. Momo didn't usually stay awake to wait for Ai, but tonight had been the third years graduation from high school and Momo had been worried for Ai. Even though the third years had retired from the swim club a couple months ago, they'd still been around. More importantly at the moment Rin-senpai had still been sleeping across the hall and eating in the cafeteria and visiting practice every once in a while to see how Ai-senpai was doing as captain in between his studying and test taking. But as of tonight he was gone. Moved back home for a bit then off to college. College in Australia.

The Australia part still rankled Momo when he thought about it too hard. Rin-Senpai had everything here. His sister, his Iwatobi high friends, the swim team here. Sousuke-senpai. Ai-senpai. There wasn't a college in the direct area and Nanase-san and Tachibana-san were going to Tokyo for college, but that didn't mean Rin-senpai needed to leave everyone he knew behind and run off to a different continent for god's sake! Even if he'd stayed in the area he wouldn't be able to hang around, Momo knew, but it was different for everyone to know he'd be mostly unreachable in Australia most of the time.

Rin couldn't handle all the mush for long and had left the celebration early at about nine, Sousuke following close on his heels. Ai had barely lasted another hour before he was making excuses even Momo could see through and running after them. Momo had returned to the dorm at about 11:30, the party having ended at 11. He was worried when he had arrived before Ai and decided to wait up. He was under no delusions that Ai wasn't going to say goodbye to Rin-senpai.

Sometimes he and Ai would be hanging around in their dorm together and Momo would think Ai was doing homework at his messy desk, only to hear him talking out loud to himself occasionally. Momo had never been one to mind his own business and whenever he'd hear him talking he'd take out his headphones, or covertly pause his movie. Only to hear Ai talk about how amazing Rin was that day, or how he'd ruffled his hair, or called him by his first name in a tone that sounded just so. Momo had thought it cute and endearing at first, and hoped that someday Rin-senpai would pay attention to his kohai that clearly loved him to death. It soon became clear to him, however, that between Nanase-san being his eternal rival/friendish thing and Sousuke being his… something, that Rin-Senpai barely had time for anyone else, much less Ai-senpai, and this journaling exercise of Ai-senpai's was now simply painful. Momo always listened though. He felt it his job as Ai's new Kouhi to listen to him and share the pain he was going through. Besides, Momo found himself thinking, after tonight I'll be the only one Ai-senpai has left. The thought filled his chest with a sympathetic twinge of pain that he buried right next to his own vague feeling of emptiness or loss at the thought that he'd just started swimming with his perfect team, only to have them broken up right away. It was hard to find that sense of belonging.

Momo's eye's widened when he heard a sob being wrenched out of the body lying below his. He clenched his fists and shook he wanted to go down there so badly, but he couldn't shake the feeling as he listened to Ai-senpai sob, that he would want to be alone. That he wouldn't want his Kohai to see him or hear him in a moment of weakness. Momo thought he lasted a long time, it sure felt like hours to him, but he gave up immediately when Ai-senpai let out a low whimpered "Rin-Senpai" that he tried to muffle into his pillow.

Momo sat straight up in bed and didn't climb down the latter so much as hop down it at top speed. Ai heard him and tried to stifle his crying and sit up, but his arms were weak from all the time he'd spent crying and he only managed to stay up-right for a couple seconds before he was toppling over again. Momo got there just in time to catch him and put his arm around his shoulders. Ai tried to struggle away for a second before giving up and putting his head on Momo's shoulder.

Momo thought he looked terrible. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and his hair and clothes were wrinkled and ruffled. It was obvious he'd been sitting on the dirt outside before he'd come back to the dorm, because his clothes were covered in dirt and wet from the dew on the grass. The worst part in Momo's opinion though, was the despondent look in his eye. Like he'd just watched something terrible rip his world apart. He'd seen this look before in his eyes, but only just chance glances of it, when his times went down, or Rin-senpai completely ignored him a couple times, or when Rin-senpai accidently said something really cutting, either in anger or just ignorance. Now it was there full blast though and Momo felt like swallowing his own tongue.

Momo just barely managed to whisper out, "What happened Ai-senpai?"

Ai started sobbing again into Momo's shoulder. Momo didn't really know what to do so he carded his fingers through Ai's hair until he'd calmed down enough to talk.

"I-I wanted to congratulate Rin-Senpai again and-and maybe tell him-tell him something, something I didn't-can't-didn't want to try and tell him tomorrow before he left when everyone else would be there. I-I knew he'd probably gone to the park to get away from people for-for a bit before going back to his dorm, so-so I headed down the path he normally takes when he runs and-and I found-

 _Ai had been walking down the path for about a half hour now and was almost ready to give up when he saw Rin's head of red hair next to a tree a bit down the path. He was about to call out to him when Sosuke moved from behind the tree. Ai didn't want to interrupt in case it was a serious conversation, so he dived quickly behind a tree a bit further up the path. He didn't realize he was in earshot until it was too late and he couldn't move without being spotted._

" _Rin, I'm really going to miss you when you're in Australia. It better be worth it, you better make the Olympics." Ai heard Sousuke say._

 _Ai couldn't help it, he peeked around the tree he was hiding behind so that he could see what Sousuke-senpai and Rin-senpai were doing. Rin was leaning against a tree as he listened to Sousuke talk. His face was softer than Ai had ever seen it, his eyebrows furrowed in concern for his friend._

 _Rin leaned forward toward Sousuke a bit as he replied, "I'll be able to come back for a bit periodically to see you, I'm not going to be trapped over there, you know."_

 _Sousuke's face crumpled quickly at these words, a raging storm of anger and sadness sweeping over his face so suddenly and completely Ai grabbed the tree he was hiding behind and thanked his lucky stars he was out of Sousuke's sights. He'd never seen so much shear emotion on his senpai's face before. Occasionally, very occasionally, he'd smile at something, but usually his face was just a mask._

 _Sousuke made a loud 'tsk' noise before he lunged at Rin and slammed his hands on either side of his head. Rin's relaxed look fell and his eyes widened in shock and slight fear._

 _Sousuke got right up in his face and started yelling inches from Rin's mouth. "You think seeing you once or twice a year could ever be enough for me!? Last time you ran to Australia you stopped writing! I didn't see you for years! Even when you came back to Japan it was all about Haru! Why can't you understand!?"_

 _Then he lunged forward the last few inches and planted his lips on Rin's. Both Rin and Ai gasped and Sousuke used the opportunity to pass his tongue through Rin's lips and into his mouth. It took a few seconds but Rin started responding and he brought his hands up to thread his fingers through Sousuke's hair._

 _It was a while before they parted again, pulling away slowly, Sousuke's arms falling away from the tree to rest softly at Rin's hips. Rin had tears forming in his eyes, his hands sliding down Sousuke's neck to rest on his shoulders._

" _Sousuke… I-I feel the same way. But, you know I can't stay. I still have to go." Rin looked down, his hands slipping even further until he was clutching the fabric of Sousuke's shirt so hard his knuckles were turning white. "But I, I promise I won't stop writing this time. And-and we can email and skype. And I'll still come home sometimes and-and-"_

 _By now Rin was full out crying. Sousuke seemed to have calmed down in response and gently lifted his hand to wipe away some of Rin's tears. "I love you so much Rin. I don't want you to leave me, but. I've made up my mind about what I want from our promise."_

 _Rin looked up into Sousuke's face, eyes wide, and tears still spilling down against his will._

 _Sousuke cupped his face with his hands. "I want you to promise me you'll be happy. No matter what happens, I want that more than anything. And whenever you come back, I'll be here waiting all right?"_

 _Rin nodded in agreement before leaning his head on Sosuke's chest in between his own hands, sobbing openly now. From where Ai was he could barely make out the words Rin sobbed into Sosuke's shirt. "W-why did you wait so long to tell me anything, you asshole. I love you too idiot."_

 _They stood there hugging and crying for a while longer, but Ai had stopped hearing it. His knees had given out long ago and he was crouched down now, no longer looking out at what was going on after listening to Rin-sempai declare his love in return. He was now leaning against the tree, hands desperately clasped over his mouth in an effort to keep the sobs escaping from his mouth from being heard._

 _Eventually Rin and Sousuke left back to their dorm room, unintentionally leaving Ai alone, sobbing behind his tree wishing for the hundredth time he'd never fallen in love with his senpai. His legs had gone even weaker and he was now sitting with his face buried in his knees._

 _He stayed there for hours crying off and on, until the dew and dirt had soaked through his pants and his eyes hurt from the crying. When he stood up his knees both cracked loudly, but he hardly noticed. He hardly noticed anything as he wandered in a daze up to his room. When he passed Rin's door he paused and stared at it for several minutes, only jerking out of his staring when he heard a loud moan from inside. His whole body winced, letting out a loud, slightly thick and catching gasp, and he hurried away to his door._

 _But even there he paused. This was the room he and Rin-senpai had shared until the beginning of this year. He'd wasted a whole year he could have told Rin-senpai how he felt before Sousuke-senpai showed up. All those chances. He should have made Rin-senpai pay attention to him for just a minute. Just a glance that first year. But it took Nanase-san and the others from Iwatobi to make Rin-senpai happy. Ai suddenly remembered when Rin-senpai had kicked that trash can at him after his race and clenched his fist. He was so useless. He couldn't even be mad at Sousuke-senpai. He made Rin-senpai so much happier than Ai ever had and understood him better than anyone else, even Nanase-san. He was even kind to Ai when he found him crying on the stairs and had trained him personally so that he could swim with Rin-senpai before he left. He owed most of his improvement this year to Sousuke-senpai and he knew it._

 _When he creaked open the door and saw his dark room and the figure curled up on the top bunk sleeping his breathing hitched. He swallowed through it though and took his shoes and jacket off before almost collapsing on his bed. He wasn't going to cry again and wake up Momo-kun. He was a senpai himself now and he needed to be strong and set a good example for his kohai and not wake him up in the middle of the night being pathetic._

 _That lasted about as long as it took him to curl up in bed and face the wall. It hit him like a pound of bricks to the gut that he was now the one sleeping in the bed Rin-senpai had occupied last year. It was a stupid thing to hit him now. It's not like he didn't know or hadn't thought about it. He'd been secretly ecstatic when Momo-kun had asked to get the top bunk, because that meant that he could sleep in the bed that still had smelled faintly of Rin-senpai for the first week or so after he'd moved out and it wouldn't be suspicious. Sometimes he thinks to himself that it was the only thing that got him through those first few nights. When the sobs burst out again he did his best to stifle them into his mattress, hoping that if he shoved his face against it hard enough he could smell the scent of Rin-senpai that had disappeared months ago._

After hearing the whole story Momo held Ai tighter against his person. He owed Rin-senpai a lot. He was the one who got him on the swim team, who let him race in relays, who'd introduced him to Gou-san and the Iwatobi guys, who'd trusted him to do his best on the 'ultimate team'. But right now he wanted to punch him in the face. He liked Rin-senpai a great deal, but right in that second he'd never been angrier with anyone in his life. Momo liked Sousuke-sempai too, but right now he wouldn't mind punching him either.

Rin-senpai had an entire two years to notice what Ai-senpai was going through and he just ignored him most of the first year it seemed like from Ai-senpai's stories. Momo didn't want Rin-senpai to be with Ai-senpai if he didn't want to, but if he'd noticed he could have set Ai-senpai straight before it reached this point. How they'd lived together in the same dorm and Rin-senpai not noticing was beyond Momo. He doubted Ai-senpai's out loud journaling was a new thing.

Momo clearly remembered the night before the first relay, Ai-senpai coming into the room and telling him to do his best even though Ai-senpai had wanted a spot on the relay team more than anything in the world and no one was even there to hear him say it. He hadn't even known Momo was awake. Momo had never been as motivated as he was the next day, had never respected anyone more than he respected Ai-senpai in that moment. He was going to help Ai-senpai with this if it killed him. Even if he got on the wrong side of Rin-senpai and lost all chances with Gou-san forever. Even if the only thing he could do was hold Ai-senpai right now and stroke his hair. Even if it took forever for Ai-senpai to get over Rin-senpai. He needed to make sure Ai-senpai knew it, that he would be there, even if he couldn't do anything else but that.

Momo whispered. "Ai-senpai, it's going to be okay. We'll get you through this. You're the strongest person I've ever met. It might take a while but you'll be okay. I promise your kohai's here for you."

Ai choked and wrapped his arms around Momo's stomach. His tears had already soaked Momo's shoulder, but he just dug his face in deeper. No one had ever called him strong before. No one had ever been there for him like Momo-kun was being at that moment. Ai had never been more grateful as he was in that moment either. But an intruding thought kept poking into his head asking whether he had ever helped his senpai like Momo was helping him, and if he even deserved this in the first place.


End file.
